Resilient Ways
Ways of Widening Resilience
In a moment I am going to begin properly with a story from Taoist tradition. Before I do, this article is the first in a series building on psychological flexibility through the lens of resilience.
In this introduction post I talk about resilience as a way of being - hence the Taoist opening.
In the series to follow I introduce 10 resilience tools that have appeared during my Wu Wei.
I hope you find inspiration for your own path in hearing about mine.
The Way is Grasped in the Rhythm of Doing
(Zhuangzi)
The Duke of Sung was reading when Wheelwright P’ien came by and asked:
“What is Your Grace reading?”
“The words of the sages.” Replied the Duke.
“Are these sages alive?”
“No, they are dead.”
“Then,” says the Wheelwright, “what you are reading is nothing but the dregs of long-dead men!”
Shocked and annoyed, The Duke exclaimed:
“Explain yourself or you will die!”
“I am a wheelwright.” Replied P’ien. “I make wheels. If the chisel is too slow, it bites too shallow; too fast, and it bites too deep. I can feel it in my hands and respond with my heart, but I cannot put it into words. There is a knack to it, a rhythm, that I cannot teach. Neither can those old sages. What they knew died with them. What you are reading is their leftovers.”
Well: that was rather sharply put!
But P’ien is pointing us to craft, rather than intellect. There is nothing wrong with intellect, but with craft we move beyond it into intrinsic skills. Intrinsic skills are in the body, often beyond our ability to remember when they arose. They can be thought about, although they do not need much thought, like walking and talking. Intrinsic skills arise from practice and experience: they are craft. Craft is the way of being, a deeper and embodied wisdom, which cannot be gleaned directly from written instructions. It’s a bit like the difference between the step-by-step plan and the reality of putting up a flat pack chest of drawers.
This summer I was asked to give one of my groups a session on resilience and I began by emphasising resilience as a craft.
The way of this resilience craft is change. As we adapt to changes in the world we are tempered with memories. Each experience is recorded in the dissipation of a little heat in the inner furnace of our body: the core of experience. These memories can increase or dissipate our resilience. Over time we come to recognise the experiences that are more helpful, and discernment emerges from the fires of life.
Resilience arises in a thousand ways; in small acts that accumulate over time. It can be lost in the same way. There are many paths to resilience and each of us must sense our own way and find the knack and the rhythm of it.
Having a variety of ways to build resilience offers us P’ien’s toolkit.
What Are Resilience Tools?
Resilience tools are 5 or so ways that you can rely on to change state when you need to. Each will be useful for specific challenging contexts in your life - the right tool for the job. For them to be ways, you should have practiced them so much that you have the feel of them, they have become a craft that you can access when needed. The change they generate will be predictable and handy in your moment of need.
In my resilience toolkit I have:
Effortless action
A new type of flow state
Movement
Body budgeting
Having control
Reframing
Being me
Not being a “me”
72 transformations, and
Embracing discomfort.
In the forthcoming posts in this series I will unpack how each of these tools has appeared to me, how it works, and why I chose to embody the craft it offers.
What are your five go-to resilience ways? Are they embedded in each moment of your doing? Are you being resilient?
A final note. Is it obvious why you should adopt resilience tools in your life? There are great health and life benefits. These ways have helped me to bend but not break in the storms and surprises of life and I am hopeful they will remain a resource for those still to come.
I hope you enjoyed this simple start to Resilient Ways, and will join me on my journey towards greater psychological flexibility. If so I will see you at the next stop, where, in contradiction, we will discover a new type of flow!
The Duke said:
“You have not learned the way of diplomacy! I have a book by a long dead sage I should like to read to you on this topic. Neither shall you die now: while I cannot know your experience your wheels are indeed beautiful, and in riding upon them I appreciate your craft.
“With your wheels bearing us, we travel widely, witnessing new lands and bringing home astonishing treasures. Thus the benefits of your craft multiply into worlds beyond knowing, just as the dead sages said.
“Now, P’ien, how much do you charge for spares...?”
